We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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