so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
