I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
