i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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