Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Be still, my beating vagina.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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