he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
