i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
