You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
