Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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