it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
