if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
