Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
