Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
