The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
