i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
