The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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