i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
