went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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