smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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