Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
