i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
