No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
