He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
