Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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