Buhtt sex?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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