I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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