you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
