I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
How's work?
Spinning.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
