i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
