No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
