worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Come on in and take your pants off
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