Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
