so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
