I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
