I'm drive I can fine osifer
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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