Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
