So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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