Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
