remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
