he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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