I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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