I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
At least life still wants to fuck me.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
