Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
