Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
