That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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