After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
