I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
