i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
