Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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