The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
