I'm so fucking centered right now
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
