soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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