It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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