i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
