I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
