i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
only you would photoshop your dick
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize