whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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