everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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