I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
