You really coming over, don't trick.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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