so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
