direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
