I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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